Book Club’s Dramatic Chapter

My Ex-Husband cheated on me ...left me for a bar-maid-turned-Dentist...and eight years later...she left him for another. I got many well meaning phone calls after she left..."he got his...Kharma..Kharma..Kharma..."
But ya know what? There was a "side" to my side of the street. He did not leave me--I left me. I watched the affair happen. I could have stopped it before it started,but I thought,"if he is going to do this...well then...he is going to DO this." It wasn't me. It was him.
So I watched him and then I let him go.
I call it "Lily-Padding"--some men and women cannot leave a relationship for themselves, by themselves.
They leave on the back or in the arms of someone else.
Men do this more than women.
It is a proven statistical fact.
Men cheat and leave.
Women more often leave for themselves.
I feel bad for the "friend"...she will be labeled with a big Red "A"...while the man will skulk off to have a rave with the bad boys...they all do.
You know he won't marry her...and if he does...she will leave or he will leave....because you cannot build a relationship on a foundation of deceit...nope...no way.
Life and love are hard enough.
Love and learn.
Forgive and move on.

"We tried to be mature about the situation... We hugged, we poured, we sat—and we listened... We applauded her strength and clear thinking... We made dates, filling up her calendar with promising plans." And then we gathered our pitchforks and torches and organized a posse to hunt him down like the rabid dog he is.

I'm not trying to defend the guy's poor judgment or lack of impulse control. Wouldn't dream of it. But there are moments when modern American life resembles nothing so much as a painfully bad episode of 'Sisters'.

"blaring like a helvetica horn..." you are a wizard of prose!

"It is a proven statistical fact.
Men cheat and leave."

I'd say more often they cheat for sex (usually due to the decision of their spouse) and stay for everything else (living arrangements, monetary arrangements, kids, friendship, 'life', etc.)

It's only when they are caught that the wife freaks out and then things start to happen.

Who cares, it's just sex. My advice is, if a guy cheats on you just for sex, then either give him more sex or if you're not into it let him cheat and come back.

"stocking up on trusty trauma lube: pizza, wine, and ice cream. "

Hmmm. Seems to me that you're inviting your own husbands to do the same.

The idea of Starshine as part of the moral mafia isn't terrifying. It's ridiculous.

Neil Geiman = Neil Gaiman?

@emenzies...where is your blog Sober Spitbath lady?
We miss you!
I want to hear the rest of your story instead of this white bread yuppy princess crap. My partner left me for someone and then they left, so I can relate. I agree that men do not know how to leave for themselves. They have affairs and then leave. I think arranged marriages are the best. No expectations. You just get married and go about the business of living.

Oh, goody for "grrl power"...wtf? You tried to be "mature"? Really? Not very hard you didn't. Seriously, "twat-wads"?? And you'll "ensure" the town finds out"? Who do you think you are? You behave as nothing more than an overly self-righteous judge and jury. She who casts the first stone, etc.

Gossip mongering is so empowering to women, isn't it? Let's spread rumors and exacerbate painful situations to the fullest extent, yippee! Me thinks you are loving this little drama a tad too much. I mean, seriously, to write about someone else's pain for all to see gives you some kind of moral high ground? Um, I beg to differ; I think it makes you a guilty party in all of this. Your life must be very dull to feel you must play a part in someone else's unfolding situation and exploit it for your own personal use.

You seem to believe the "other woman" should be exposed and stoned in public, marked with a scarlet letter for all to see? How does that help or make anything right? Does it make YOU feel good somehow? Perhaps you should examine your motives for writing this piece a little more closely.

You are in fact a very small person posing as a powerful one. Get over yourself and your playground theatrics.

When the man, as in "human," finally wiggles free of the lofty pillory Starshine has constructed to immortalize him, the odds are he will slip away and search for another town to escape the numbing silence from his former "friends," his ex will be alone, The Club will recover from its anger to face the fear that it could happen to them, and we can all wonder if monogamy is the American Dream.