Say It with a Hallmark Card—Or Not

I'm a heterosexual male that believes all human beings, gay, straight, brown/balck/white should have the same priviledges and rights as everyone else, and as a business owner, I support the right of this business owner to sell whatever she wants. Is this really that big of a deal? Don't you think that the November ballot initiative is more of a pressing issue than where you can buy cards? If you are going to use this forum to talk about gay issues and rights, please look at what Dobler is doing with his Focus on the Family crap. Proposition 8 and the right wing groups like Dobs and some religious organizations are mounting a huge campaign with some major funding all in an effort to "define marriage as between a man and a woman". As a married man to a wonderful woman and with 3 daughters of my own, I can say that I support the right for any couple to get married, be it two men, or two women. If my daughters want to marry another woman, and that makes them happy, then more power to them. The traditional views of right wing-religious groups threaten that possibility. This November will be a key step in moving forward, beyond old traditions and this has to be talked about. Please take every opportunity Penny to enlighten people on those rights, those fundamental human rights and stop wasting time on a card shop in Carpinteria. Please!!

Here is in this video documentary is some of that local bliss the day the Supreme Court made it ruling last May:

http://www.offleashpublicaffairs.net/200...

hi heterosexual male,

i think you miss the point. civil liberties aren't achieved in one fell swoop with a pass of a law, it takes many years to change all those aspects of society that signify practical equality, and generations for minds to change. these store owners might be held to legalities but they are enforcing those social rules that en masse make life as a queer person exhausting. even many of us who optimistically think the law will hold, expect the fight to be ongoing. penny shouldn't have to call up these stores and educate them.

yeah, it's just a simple product, and it's the owners who have a problem with it. why are you angry about this? if you are so supportive, shop at those stores that support queer rights and make it a point to politely and in person say something to those that don't. that takes balls. try it sometime and see how you feel then.

You won't encounter any problems with cards in Santa Barbara, there are no Hallmark stores here!

Hallmark is in Longs Drugs in Santa Barbara, why don't you ask them if they will carry them?

Nicole,
I can't imagine how exhausting life as "a queer" really is. I really can't empathize. How could I? So, yes, maybe I did miss the point. She's frustrated. She wants the card. Store owners can and should practice equality. Will they? Who knows. I'm not angry, although I might come across that way. I'm interested in basic civil rights for everyone. That's what's coming in November. Do people know about the millions of dollars pouring in to be spent "protecting" the traditional rights of marriage? Let's hope Californians, and not the carp hall-mark get this one right. I'm on your side. Cheers

Guess I'm missing the point. However, yours is an opinion piece and not everyone will agree with how you feel. Such is life, right? If it was about the majority rules, there wouldn't be anything but heterosexual relationships...

I think that weddings are beautiful too but it turns my stomach to see two men or two women kiss. It's a personal feeling and not based on religion or any other bad experience with people who are gay. Because of that, I won't attend a gay wedding even though I don't oppose gay marriage. Does that make me middle of the road? I suppose. I think that the majority of people I know feel as I do... not gay, don't have gay friends or family members (that we are aware of) and would never advocate for gay partnerships however, not anti gay either and wish that people would just do what they want to do in this regard and get on with it without constantly making it an issue of "us" against "them."

As to the story itself... well store owners should have the right to carry what they feel comfortable with. If gay marriage stays legal there will be stores that become comfortable stocking those types of cards, it just will take time. Not all will because some just don't feel it's appropriate or they are offended by it and that's their choice. Don't go there if that offends you... it does seem silly to me that a big deal is being made out of this and it is a story considered newsworthy with all that is going on in the world. Sure, Hallmark may have created a line of cards but the laws may not stick and if they don't, why would stores carry cards for something that is illegal? Why stock up on something that may be null & void soon? How can you really blame them at this point in the process? Silly...

There's a candor about "santabarbarasand" that I admire; he admits to being sickened by people kissing if the gender matches, but doesn't oppose gay marriage. He self-selects as "middle of the road" and "doesn't have gay friends or family members" (I can hear my gay friends suppressing their laughter) -- which I believe is demographically unsupported in the general population -- but, importantly, has a "wish that people would just do what they want to do."

You, my friend, are just exactly what the vast majority of gay folks are asking for -- someone who will leave them alone.

And if it doesn't creep you out too much, you should consider yourself a true friend to the gays.

P.S. And I bet, sooner or later, you'll overcome the hurling part. .

Lol Binky, thanks! I'm female though :)

I'm a friend to most people because I don't discriminate against them, even if something makes me uncomfortable. It's like my preferance with men... I personally am not attracted to men of color, or asian men, etc, but that doesn't mean I have an issue with who dates who. I decided early on that just because something is not MY cup of tea, it doesn't mean that I have to turn my nose up to someone else who does something I don't. Nobody in my close family is gay but if one of them were, we wouldn't turn our backs on them. My parents always stressed that we are all people with different tastes and as long as our behavior doesn't hurt anyone, including ourselves, that we shouldn't judge it. Those types of things stick with you as you grow up.

Your gay friends may laugh but I'm not kidding about not having any gay friends or family members. Maybe in my extended family that I do not know about... and friends, I only have a handful and they are close friends who I know well, I don't enjoy acquantances, my life is too busy! I have a friend who has experimented but ultimately decided she prefered being with men over women. She even came onto me a few times in a non pushy way, which just made me laugh. We were friends while she went through that phase and I didn't judge her, nor was I overly curious about her exploits either! Like I said, it had nothing to do with me, didn't hurt anyone and didn't change who she is.

As for watching two people of the same sex being intimate, I don't know that I will overcome that. I don't HAVE to overcome it either, it's not like my distaste for it hurts anyone, not even myself. Nature instills an instinct in us to procreate, which can only be done with the opposite sex, and there is a beauty in that to me. Our bodies are naturally made to fit together in the most intimate way, like two pieces of a puzzle... while people who are gay probably see a beauty in same sex intimacy, it does bother me. There is nothing wrong with how either of us feel... sexuality is like religion - it's a personal decision. It's like vegetables, I love broccoli but won't hate you if you don't! Don't bash me for what I eat and I won't bash you for what you don't eat, or vice versa. Lol :)